"Gregor!" Penny-Nichole cried out. She could barely see from the blood and sweat that poured across her eyes. She tried to stand from her kneeling position but quickly dropped back to the earth, gasping for the precious air that her lungs burned for. She assessed her wounds to see if there was anything that she could patch up with the scraps of medical supplies she still had on her. The large gashes that scored her body were not going to be fixed with just simple gauze wraps though.
"Gregor! Sarah!" she cried out once more. Penny-Nichole prayed to her own gods that the Strike siblings had not met their death.
Stand up, small one. Stand and let me strengthen your bones with my fires. Let my blood flow as yours and give new life to your muscles so that you may destroy Rava. A powerful voice boomed through Penny-Nichole's mind. Her eyes fluttered as she tried desperately to remain conscious.
Stand, Penny-Nichole of Earth! Stand and fight for the justice you so crave! A dam broke somewhere deep inside Penny-Nichole's soul. She felt fire race through her veins and cool water wash the blood and sweat from her brow. She bowed her head as the power of the gods flowed through her body and healed her of her wounds. She could feel the skin and muscle from her legs and arms as they knit themselves delicately back together. Slowly, the quiver and bow she broke in battle reappeared on her back, the quiver full of deadly arrows. The daggers she had thrown to save some of her men reformed on either side of her hips. Breathing deeply, Penny-Nichole stood. She lifted her head to the sun and let out a mighty and vicious battle cry that stopped all who were still fighting. All heads turned and stared at the now glowing form of Penny-Nichole. With her right hand extended, a new weapon took shape in her palm. She glanced down at it and took in all its fiery wonder.
This blade is my last help to you. I, Brahma, the lord of all knowledge and the universe itself, gift this sword so as to aid you in your victory against Rava. Use it well, my child. With his final gift clutched firmly in her hand, Penny-Nichole felt Brahma's presence slip from her mind.
Penny-Nichole stared at the sword for a moment, flipping it back and forth as she examined its details. Flames engulfed the entire sword as well as her hand but she felt no burn from it. Replacing the sword in the sheath that had formed on her hip behind the daggers, she scanned the field until she found who she was looking for. Gregor had Sarah back safe and sound and the two were rallying the troops that remained to prepare for another strike against the rest of the smaller demons. Penny-Nichole smiled. Gregor was always the wise and level-headed one of the group. He was always able to remain calm in even the most stressful of situations.
"You may have gotten your pet back, but I will still slaughter you all like the germs you are!" Penny-Nichole snapped her attention to Rava as he strode towards her. The great and gruesome Rava had remained a nonexistent part of that battle up to the moment that Penny-Nichole was healed by Brahma and even then he only sat back and watched. It was about time for him to show his ugly face. Penny-Nichole thought to herself. Rava's ten grotesque heads chuckled and laughed as his twenty arms swung their horrid weapons dangerously through the air.
"I have been gifted by your gods in ways you could not fathom, you disgusting creature. Feel my wrath as well as all of the pain and suffering you have caused these people! Die, Rava!" In one swift motion, Penny-Nichole nocked a flaming arrow and sprinted towards Rava. As she loosed the arrow towards him the fire grew into a mighty lion. Penny-Nichole released several more quickly behind her first arrow and soon there was a pride of flaming lions charging towards Rava.
A few of the arrows managed to sever some of Rava's heads, but that didn't slow him down. Penny-Nichole growled low in her throat. She stood her ground and nocked three arrows at a time, letting loose a flurry of flaming animals towards Rava. More of his heads were severed but still he stalked slowly towards her. Once Rava was close upon her she returned her mystical bow to her back and moved to grasped the flame sword on her hip. The arrows would do her no good if the demon's heads continued to regrow after she severed them.
"Now you die!" She pulled the sword from its sheath and, with a spin for momentum and unerring aim, Penny-Nichole sank the god's fire sword deep through Rava's heart. With his faces only inches from hers, Penny-Nichole could clearly see the smile on all the demon's ten faces fall and the color rush from him.
"No..." Rava's voice trailed off quietly. The last breath of the mighty demon god fled from his body and Rava crumpled to the blood-soaked earth.
It was finally over. The last of the smaller demons were easily demolished by Gregor and Sarah. Penny-Nichole sheathed her sword and sent many prayers and thanks to all of the great gods that had aided her on her journey. Gregor and Sarah rushed up to Penny-Nichole and the three embraced in a much needed group hug, shedding many tears of happiness at being reunited.
Author's note: This story is actually based on two stories. In Rama and Ravana, Rama is met by one of the gods chariots. Using it, he fights Ravana some more. Agastya tells Rama to send prayers to the sun god, which he does, and this in turn rejuvenates Rama. In the original story, Rama's arrows are said to each be like a flaming lion, which is why I described mine as such. This is also the story that shows that Ravana's heads regenerate. In the second story I used, Ravana's Death, Rama realized that the heads are regenerating and so, using the flaming weapon from Brahma, he pierces Ravana through the heart, killing him. I didn't use the very last part of this story because it brings in characters that I hadn't introduced and I didn't feel like I had the story in a place to bring them in. I don't remember where Sita actually comes back into the picture, but I chose to bring Sarah back here because I knew it would give Penny-Nichole more fuel to get back up and fight. I was also able to use it as another spot to work in some descriptions of Gregor's character. I really had fun adding in how Penny-Nichole got the divine flame sword. I don't remember when Rama got it, so I improvised! I hope you all enjoyed! This will probably be the last adventure with the stories of Rama.
Bibliography: Rama and Ravana by Sister Nivedita and Ravana's Death by Donald A. Mackenzie
Wow! The scene where the “power of the gods took over her body”. The description was so vivid, I felt like I could actually feel what that would be like to have fire rush through my blood. The description of the fire and water flowing through her veins and the strength it would take to heal wounds was powerful. What an amazing description. Great job! As for your portfolio as a whole, your introduction was very helpful in giving background information about your characters as well as providing a link to your previous portfolio/storybook. There is another student in the class who connected this with their last storybook and I love that the two of you have done that! There is maturity in your voice as a writer because you have already written about these characters. There is a familiarity. It comes across well in your writings and makes your pieces even stronger.
ReplyDeleteLots of REALLY good imagery here! I had no problem imagining the story, and you did a lot of my imagination work for me! Your writing is very clear, I didn't notice any errors. I also really enjoy how you combined the stories together, it's super fun to mesh worlds. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI love the scene where Penny-Nichole prayed. One of my favorite things in mythology is how the interactions between divine and human beings create such interesting stories. This very much reminds me of the concept of the Avatar introduced in Rick Riordan's "The Kane Chronicles" wherein a god is able to inhabit or reinvigorate a human vessel in order to corporealize in the material world. Did you draw any inspiration from that story by any chance? Also, did you intend to change the name to Rava? I believe that the name from the original text is Ravana. You also really stayed true to the original text by relying on celestial weapons in order to kind of "save the day." This is something we see over and over again the Ramayana, and I love how you brought it back in this story. All in all, I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteFlaming lion arrows? Awesome. As always, you write a cool action sequence, with a properly dramatic preamble to boot. I like that you decided to cover two stories here; the divine armament & rejuvenation and the final battle play well together. One issue for me: You say, "The arrows would do her no good if the demon's heads continued to regrow after she severed them." But you didn't mention in the previous line that Rava keeps stalking forward because his heads are regrowing! The "if" part doesn't give me that information, since it's a conditional, not a declaration.
ReplyDeleteI have gotten a chance to read many of the other stories you wrote for this class, and in my personal opinion, I think you write wonderfully. Your ideas for each tale were not only creative, they were executed beautifully as well. I especially love the last line in paragraph one about how the battle was meant for gods and not animals and men. That sentence was so powerful to me, and I felt like that not only set the scene but also the tone for the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think my favorite part of this story was paragraph five. I loved the way you wrote this portion. It had so much imagery and depth that I felt like I was Penny Nichole and that I was fighting on that battlefield. I liked the idea of the gods using humans to fight this battle. I felt like in all the readings we did, it was the gods that would descend to earth and fight these battles, but here, mortals get to be the heroes And even though humans are imperfect, that's what adds depth to this story. She overcame her flaws and won.